And now, a serious candidate for president.

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Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Triumph for Top Dog

Here in the US, the 2016 election cycle has been plagued by cynicism, as all the candidates for the Highest Office in the Land seem to be puppets of special interests. The only (possible) exception is Donald Trump, whose obnoxious pronouncements have offended half the nation and made him insanely popular with the other half. What this country needs is a combination of the two, someone who is both a puppet AND obnoxious.

Announcing the Puppet Party nominee for President in 2016, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog! He will go the existing candidates one better, in that he (a) is not just metaphorically but literally a puppet, and (b) is at least as offensive as Trump if not more so. His name even sounds a bit like Trump, which, if the Donald succeeds in getting the Republican nomination, may garner him millions of ballots through voter confusion.

A President Triumph would be a dogged, no-nonsense, take-charge kind of guy. Instead of wasting his time hob-nobbing with the high and mighty, the Puppet in Chief would give them what they deserve by urinating on them. Triumph would, of course, make an exception for female politicians, such as former Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt, who would instead receive a furious leg-humping.

Selecting a dog for president would also serve the interests of diversity as American’s first non-human President. It would also be a symbolic “bite me” to the world’s dog-despising Muslim theocracies such as Iran and Saudi Arabia. In the troubled Middle East, Triumph’s strategy would be “I poop on ISIS!”

Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy: #2 is #1 plus one!

And speaking of diversity, the Puppet Party’s nominee for Vice President is that indomitable Muppet, Miss Piggy. Unlike Joe Biden, this porcine feminist would not suffer being the “butt” of jokes about vice-presidential ineffectiveness. A few well-placed karate kicks would ensure that the White House Press Corps would grant her the respect she deserves. Piggy’s number two position would also serve to deter terrorist attacks on President Triumph, as no self-respecting Muslim would want to see a female swine with her pudgy finger on the nuclear button.

As a long-time Libertarian activist, I’m accustomed to hearing the argument that a third-party vote is wasted. However, this ticket is sure to Triumph!

Vote Puppet Party, Triumph & Piggy 2016!

Review: Deadpool

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Deadpool, Marvel’s (sort of) Superhero

Disclaimer: My son and I saw Deadpool (2015, directed by Tim Miller) a few weeks ago, so this review may not be so fresh, but better late than never.

In my childhood, I was a big fan of superhero comics, mostly from the DC universe (Batman, Superman, etc.) but I lost interest around high school. Since then, my comic reading has been confined to graphic novels like those of Alan Moore, and the occasional manga such as “Death Note.” So I knew nothing of Deadpool except seeing all the related merchandise and fan art at events like Comicon. It seemed he must have something pretty interesting or original to attract so much attention in the crowded universe of superheroes.

Deadpool is one of Marvel’s famously flawed heroes, in fact more of an anti-hero. He’s a mutant with the usual superhuman abilities, but he refuses to join the X-Men, whom he sees as namby-pamby do-gooders. In his previous life, he was Wade Wilson, a retired Special Forces soldier who’d gone to work as a “mercenary,” which in the film consists of hiring himself out to ordinary people with scores to settle. Lest he be seen as a total villain, he only takes on targets whom he feels “deserve” to be terrorized, beat up, or worse. His mutant powers, the result of a very unconventional treatment for cancer, have rendered him practically indestructible.

(By the way, what is it with comic books and alliteration? Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Clark Kent, Lois Lane…)

The actor Ryan Reynolds (alliteration again!) is a good fit for Deadpool’s wise-cracking, misanthropic character. He alone makes the Deadpool movie worth seeing, despite its standard “superhero origin story” plot. By the way, it earns its R rating with loads of violence, some kinky sex, and a lot of really crass humor. Yes, it’s funny, though it’s nowhere near the top of my list. (Just about anything starring Will Ferrell is funnier.) One of the comic high points was the fake credits at the beginning, which lists the producer as “Some Douche-bag,” the stars as “God’s Perfect Idiot” and “A Hot Chick,” with a script by “An Overpaid Tool.” The hero breaks the fourth wall more often than an angst-ridden Woody Allen movie. And it’s unrelentingly self-referential. When two characters from the X-Men refer to Doctor Xavier, Deadpool asks “Stewart or McAvoy”?

All in all, there’s plenty of action to keep it from getting dull, though as I said, you need to be able to appreciate the cruder bits. Though a surprising number of critics liked it (83% on Rotten Tomatoes) I’d grant this film an average rating, right about 3 out of 5 stars.

Vaughn & Arlys’ Top Ten Anime Picks

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Above, the SOS Brigade with Haruhi Suzumiya.

They say television is a wasteland, and although things have improved with cable series like Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad, it’s no secret that America’s entertainment industry gets much of its inspiration from foreign sources. TV executives in America are risk-averse and will always back a proven money maker over an untested concept. Not so in Japan, where a burgeoning animation industry produces dozens of new quality series per year, a significant portion of which are aimed at adults. My son Lowell, who is now in college, got us hooked in Japanese animation, popularly called anime, and over the last five years we’ve watched at least 40 complete series. Below I’ve listed some of our favorites, with brief summaries for the benefit of the uninitiated.

None of the shows in our list are “kid’s” cartoons, and nothing in our list would be appropriate for young children but most would be fine for teenagers. I’ve deliberately omitted any feature-length movies, and we avoid the super-popular teen series such as Bleach or Fruits Basket. Nonetheless, most of our picks are relatively popular within anime fandom. All ten of them happen to be science fiction or fantasy, though there is quality content in every genre.

Most of these shows were derived from manga (the Japanese term for a graphic novel) though neither us have read many of those. We prefer to watch these shows (and, for that matter, all foreign films) with subtitles. After watching a few episodes with English-language dubbing, we decided that the subtitles seem to be better capture the writer’s original meanings, as well as the subtleties of Japanese culture. This glimpse into Japanese life, as well as their view of Western society, is fascinating as well as entertaining.

Here they are, listed in Letterman-style reverse order.

10. Black Butler (2008-2009) – Set in Victorian London, this show’s protagonists are the wealthy orphan Ciel Phantomhive and his guardian/butler Sebastian, who is secretly a demon in human form. My son derides this as a “teenage girl” series but nonetheless it fits our preference for the dark and quirky. The show mixes elements of horror and the supernatural with the slapstick comedy of the manor’s bumbling servants. The intense devotion of Sebastian (his favorite tag-line: “I’m one hell of a butler”) for the angry, brooding Ciel borders on creepiness. Perhaps reading the manga would clarify their relationship.

9. Steins;Gate [sic] (2011) – A sci-fi series based on a visual novel/game that was later made into a manga. It involves a group of teenagers/young adults who stumble upon an ingenious way to alter the past, by inventing a device that let them to send text messages to their previous selves. Much of the story arc revolves around the tragic death of innocent young Mayushii and her friend Okarin’s dogged determination to undo that event. With every attempt he makes, his interventions in the time line have further unintended consequences.

8. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (2006) – This seems at first like the typical “slice of life” high school comedy until we realize that the title character, a bright but domineering teenage girl, unknowingly possesses godlike powers over time and space. Upon arriving at her new school, she forms a social club called (for no particular reason) the “SOS Brigade.” Unknown to her, the other club members have been tasked by mysterious entities to keep her happy, so that she won’t accidentally destroy the universe in a fit of temper. The protagonist, the long-suffering Kyon, complains constantly but secretly enjoys his newly interesting life. He is the only member of the club without an extraordinary power of some sort. The show combines adventure, interpersonal drama and humor in a very entertaining mix . The writers make some very interesting choices with the story arc.

7. Bakemonogatari (Ghost Story) (2009) – Translated literally, the name means “monster story.” This is the first of a collection of anime series starring a high school boy named Koyomi Araragi, who was recently turned into a vampire and then “cured,” though her retains some supernatural abilities. The story line revolves around Araragi’s relationships with the many females in his life, including his two sisters, several classmates, the ghost of a middle schooler, and a blonde vampire woman who ages in reverse. All have some mysterious curse to overcome, though some of these maladies don’t come to light until the later series. It’s visually superb, very quirky, and occasionally erotic, though at times the pace bogs down under excessive dialog. The sequels (all with names ending in -gatarai) are also interesting but unfortunately the talkiness increases. This first one is definitely the best.

6. XXXHolic (2006) – Though the name represents a generic term for addiction (alcoholic, shopaholic) such obsessive behavior is not the primary focus of the show. The protagonist is Watanuki, a teenage boy who lives alone, having lost his parents. His curse is his ability to see the invisible spirits (nature spirits, not ghosts) that populate the modern world. While searching for a cure, he comes into the service of Yuko, a mysterious, sultry “witch” who helps clients with psychological problems. When not dishing out advice, Yuko lounges around the house in a kimono, drinking wine, smoking cigarettes and constantly ordering Watanuki around. The characters (which include Yuko’s familiars, two creepy “spirit” girls and a talking rabbit-like creature) have many amusing and sometimes harrowing interactions with the supernatural world of Japanese folklore.

5. Uchouten Kazoku (2013) Translated as “Eccentric Family,” this is probably the most obscure entry in our list. This show is a gem that combines comedy and tragedy in a story line that is surprisingly moving. The primary characters are the Shimogamo family, a dysfunctional clan of tanuki, or “raccoon dogs,” animals who according to Japanese folklore have the ability to shape-shift and live in human society posing as people. The show focuses on Yasaburou, the family’s third-eldest son. His father, formerly head of all the tanuki clans in Kyoto, has died tragically, having been made into hot pot and eaten by humans in a New Years’ celebration. Other magical characters include the Shimogamos’ tutor, a tengu (bird man) called Professor Akadama, and his selfish, manipulative human girlfriend Benten. The show features some interesting gender-bending as the fun-loving Yasaburou, when in human form, likes to switch between male and female identities.

4. Attack on Titan (2009) In Japanese it’s called Shingeki no Kyojin, which means “Advancing Giants,” which is far more appropriate than the English title. Set in the distant future, the last remnants of humanity live in a multi-walled city. Here they take refuge from the Titans, giant mindless humanoid monsters who roam the earth, gobbling humans whole. In the initial episode, an extra-titanic titan breaches the outer wall, allowing the monsters to pour in. The city’s military mobilizes to drive back the creatures and save the human race. The show’s heroes are three teenagers – Eren, Mikasa, and Armin – who enlist in the Survey Corps, the first line of defense against the titans. Having no heavy artillery, the humans must kill these monsters by stabbing them in the back of the neck. Each corpsman wears a harness connected to a series of tethers and pulleys, which allows them to swing from trees and rooftops and maneuver high enough to make the kill. Some anime conventions have rated it 18+ due to violence, though I feel that in its fantasy setting it’s really no worse than Lord of the Rings. Attack has spawned a booming costume business. The tan and white Survey Corps uniforms are very popular at anime conventions. Though we fans are eagerly awaiting the sequel, its release date keeps getting pushed back.

3. Psycho-Pass (2012-2013) – This is set in a futuristic dystopian Japan ruled by an all-powerful networked computer system called Sybil. The rule of law has been replaced by a police state which constantly monitors the mental health of all citizens. The “psycho-pass” is an identification document which changes color to reflect the bearer’s mental state. The show features a unit of the police agency charged with apprehending (and in extreme cases, terminating) anyone whose “psycho pass” shows mental distress exceeding the legal limits. The heroine is the rookie cop Akane Tsunemori, a strong and complex female character who, contrary to anime convention, is not overly sexified.

2. Death Note (2006-2007) – Here’s another mega-popular show that’s been a long-time favorite for conventions and cosplayers. If one disregards the supernatural premise, it’s a crime drama that pits an eccentric detective against a brilliant villain. Death Note considers the question of what happens when a good person acquires absolute power. “Light” Yagami, Japan’s top honor student, finds a mystical notebook (intentionally abandoned by a shinigami, or “death god”) that grants him the power to kill anyone he wishes. All he needs to do is write the name in the notebook along with the cause of death, while keeping the person’s face in his mind (to eliminate the issue of duplicate names.) Light begins with the goal of ridding the world of violent criminals, but at this power goes to his head, his criteria for execution grow ever less stringent. As the police close in on him, he abandons all his former principles, using the notebook to eliminate anyone who threatens to apprehend him.

1. Cowboy Be-bop (1997-1998) – The oldest show in our list is a consistent favorite with anime fans. It’s a space opera series in which the “cowboys” (bounty hunters) Spike Spiegel and Jet Black pursue interplanetary fugitives to a classic jazz soundtrack. During their travels they accumulate a crew of oddballs and misfits, including Faye, a gypsy woman who’s awakened from 50 years in cryo-sleep, Ein, a corgi fitted with electronic implants for smuggling information, and Edward, a genius-hacker kid who has made her escape from the devastated planet Earth. Be-bop endured for just one season, but it has held its fans’ attention for far longer than that.

Bonus: one we’ve barely started:

Arly’s son David recently turned us on to Paranoia Agent (2004), another dark and quirky series that we’ve only just begun watching. A pre-teen boy known as “Lil’ Slugger” skates around on Rollerblades and attacks random people with an aluminum bat. The series appears to focus not on Slugger but his victims and how the “blow to the head” changes their lives. (And no, this isn’t a Will Smith “Concussion” drama.)

 

My Favorite Collaborator

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Arlys_statue

For Valentine’s Day I thought I should write about hearts and flowers, but the closest topic I could come up with was collaboration. Seriously, it’s a lot like a romantic relationship. When we consider the famous creative duos, such as Lennon and McCartney, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and Cheech and Chong, we can see that a creative partnership is a lot like a marriage, with interpersonal drama, conflict and compromise. Some teams are tempestuous and brief, and others last a lifetime.

As for me, collaboration has rarely worked. Most of the time the chemistry just isn’t there. Some people aren’t committed and don’t pull their weight; I had a high school debate partner who was like that. Others are overly invested in everything, and argue or take offense at constructive criticism.

The best partnerships are those that happen naturally. In grade school, my best friend was Joel, who shared my bizarre sense of humor. We were doing “Mad Libs” before it was popular, as we started our story-writing by crossing out and replacing words in old textbooks. Nothing we wrote was anything someone older than 12 would find appreciate, but still, we had a hilarious time doing it.

Besides co-writing those dumb stories, the closest I’d come to collaboration was my participation in writer critique groups. Not all personality types are suited for this. People who are overly sensitive or argumentative usually quit after one or two meetings. A fragile ego is fatal to creativity, because being open to honest feedback is essential to learning and growth. At the same time, one can’t be too indecisive, because critics will sometimes have opposing opinions. To be truly creative, you need a vision of what you’re trying to accomplish.

The best partnerships are those in which the participants have differing strengths. That’s why Elton John writes the music and Bernie Taupin does the lyrics. I’ve had the exceptional good luck to find a creative partner who does just that, complementing my own skills. It’s even more unusual to find that sort of thing within a romantic relationship.

Arlys and I began our creative partnership by an interesting accident of fate. My friend John from the sci fi writer’s group invited me to accompany him to a meeting of a theatrical group. They were an interesting bunch. Many of them were adapting excerpts from their own novels or short stories for the stage. Under other circumstances, I would probably have not continued, because my own work didn’t seem well-suited for that purpose.

But then I thought of the stories Arlys had told me, of all the odd and quirky characters she’d met through on-line dating. One of those guys was a “furry,” who liked to dress up as an animal. To most furries, it’s a fun costume to wear to sci-fi conventions and other get-togethers for some innocent role-playing. For others, and this fellow was one of them, it’s a sexual fetish. Arlys found the idea ridiculous, and did not see that guy again, but to me it was hilarious. I thought, why not do a musical number where the actors danced around and sang about the joys of sex in a fur-suit? That was how “One Good Man,” our musical comedy about on-line dating, was born.

So far, Arlys and I have co-written half a dozen scenes of our show, three of which were staged as part of the “Out Loud” showcase here in Phoenix. A fourth is scheduled to be performed next month for “Out Loud” number two.

Since then, she been the first person to read and critique all my writings. As a collaborator, Arlys has many strengths that I lack. She’s a wizard with dialogue, and far better than I am with jokes. She brings the woman’s perspective that we men find difficult to write. Her sense of style caused her to fall in love with the steampunk movement, which was the genre of my second novel, Fidelio’s Automata. Some of her artistic creations have helped inspire new stories. She has given unconditional support to all my ventures, and that means the world to me. And so does she.

Fury Road WTF?

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It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Max

Since George Miller’s Max Max: Fury Road was released back in May of this year, this is not so much of a review as a rumination on a wider social phenomena. Namely: why the hell did this film get such good reviews?

Let’s back up a bit: my girlfriend Arlys is a dyed in the wool film buff who has introduced me to many classics, courtesy of our Netflix subscription. Her favorites are the work of the masters Hitchcock and Kurosawa. In turn she indulges my love of anime and science fiction. Understand that Arlys does not have a “girly” taste in movies; for example, she detests most romantic comedies. In addition, she loved the original “Mad Max” movies, especially the 1981 Road Warrior and 1985’s Beyond Thunderdome. Yet she hated this new one so much that she gave it a score of zero. Her reasoning: a completely implausible plot and the marginalization of the Mad Max character, who had lost all of his redeeming characteristics from the earlier movies.

I have to agree, partially. As brainless action fun, I’d give it two stars out of five. The mixed reports I’d heard about the movie gave me low expectations, and I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I enjoyed it more than Star Wars: The Force Awakens because the high hopes I had for that one were rudely dashed. Yes, the plot on the earlier Mad Max incarnations was thin but this last one was idiotic. As a sci-fi fan I like to have at least some degree of plausibility. My biggest issue was how did this post-apocalyptic society function? Nowhere did I see any crops or animals, except for the mutant lizard that Mad Max (Tom Hardy) munches at the beginning. The evil Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne) has enslaved some well-endowed women as milk cows, but what do they eat? The bad guys also imprison Mad Max and extract his blood but what do they feed him? One of the fattest villains is called “People Eater”(John Howard) but again, you’ve got to have something for the herd. Speaking of the herd, all around the bluffs that serve as Joe’s headquarters is a huge crowd of rabble, whom he occasionally drenches with the life-giving water that he has monopolized. These people don’t have any jugs or buckets; they just wallow in the mud. They don’t appear to have any mud huts or caves to live in. And why is Joe doing this? We know he’s a bastard, so what’s in it for him?

We’ll grant that an action movie can be light on world building, but I’m just getting started. How does Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) get access to Joe’s wives to rescue them? Why does the “war boy” Nux (Nicholas Hoult) strap Max to the front of his car as he pursues the fugitives? If Max is killed, the precious blood Nux is siphoning from him would be gone. Why does Max, who is tortured by flash-backs of all the people he couldn’t save in the past, attempt to abandon Furiosa and Joe’s wives to die in the desert? How can Max possibly be so young? He’s a survivor from before the nuclear war, which was clearly decades ago, especially if Furiosa has lived her whole life since that time. I could go on for pages, but I won’t.

The thing that mystifies me most is, why did the critics rate this awful movie so highly – on Rotten Tomatoes it’s 97%, higher than the audience score of 86! Don’t critics usually hate brainless action movies? Is it because this was reputed to be a “feminist” Mad Max? I say that because on the Web, I saw articles by conservatives grousing about how Max had been upstaged by a woman. If so, I don’t get it. True, Furiosa is a great female action hero, but they’re a dime a dozen these days. Most of the other female characters, the wives Furiosa is rescuing, are helpless bimbos in scanty dress. Or is this movie feminist in the politically correct “white men are evil” sense? Joe and his followers are indeed bad guys, but this is a post-nuclear wasteland. Savagery is the rule of the day. If the critics fell in line to praise “Fury Road” because they didn’t want to seem sexist, George Miller’s got one hell of a scam going on.

To be fair, I looked up the Rotten Tomatoes entries for the previous “Mad Max” movies and discovered to my surprise that the rankings for “Road Warrior” were almost exactly the same – a 98% critic score versus 85% audience. Perhaps this invalidates my theory, since that one starred racist white guy Mel Gibson. Admittedly “Road Warrior” was a far better movie than “Fury Road” but even the earlier one wasn’t that good. I’m beginning to question Rotten Tomatoes as an objective guide.

If I had made “Fury Road,” I’d have kept Charlize Theron, but I’d change practically everything else. Casting a geriatric babbling Mel Gibson as Max would have been quite amusing. Better yet, I’d call it “Furry Road” and have all the actors wear animal costumes. Furiosa would be adorable as a she-wolverine, though we’d definitely keep the robot arm.

 

Warrior Girls in Sci Fi — Too Bad-Ass to Believe?

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I’m not the only one dissing the new Star Wars. Gavin McInnes has some pointed criticism, and he said it so well, I’m jealous. For those of you who don’t know him, he’s the Canadian expat writer who co-founded Vice Magazine and appears on the Fox News show “Red Eye.” In a recent article  at Taki’s Magazine, he argues that The Force Awakens is part of the anti-white-male propaganda currently infesting pop culture. It’s the phenomenon that portrays TV dads as bumbling idiots while their wives hold everything together. I’m not going to argue that point, rather, I’ll discuss a related issue: the ascendancy of the kick-ass female in science fiction.

McInnes writes that he can only stand the feminist nonsense in movies by looking for the chinks in the armor, the rare times where traditional values are affirmed, or a man is portrayed in a positive way.For example, Luke Skywalker, a white male, seems like a Christ figure when he appears at the end of The Force. My strategy is different. I short-circuit the propaganda by being a sexist fan-boy (though, given my age, I should probably say “dirty old man.”) That’s because nerds like myself find the take-charge female warriors of sci-fi to be totally hot. If you don’t get it, watch a few episodes of “The Big Bang Theory,” where some of the actresses I list below make guest appearances.

My favorite kick-ass sex symbol is River Tam (played by Summer Glau) from the “Firefly” series. In the movie Serenity, she dispatches a room full of reavers (bloodthirsty space cannibals) all by herself. We accept this, because she’s a mutant genius, an emotionally-damaged victim of secret government experiments. Another is Kara “Starbuck” Thrace (Katee Sackhof), the whiskey-drinking blonde fighter pilot in “Battlestar Galactica.” Then there’s Sigourney Weaver as Ripley, who climbs into a robotic loader exosuit to battle the alien queen in Aliens, with the ferocity of a mama bear protecting her cub. Probably the best is recent years is Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen, who looks fantastic in both her “flaming” evening gown and her Hunger Games battle gear. If I were Peeta, I wouldn’t have wasted the last minutes of the movie snuggling. The trilogy’s biggest sin was to have such a wimp be married to the warrior goddess.

Bad-ass as these warrior girls are, they all have weaknesses and vulnerabilities, which makes them seem real enough to be sympathetic. That’s something that Rey (played by Daisey Ridley) lacks, which was my biggest problem with her character. Everything just comes too easily for her. As a consequence she’s more annoying than appealing, despite her fresh-faced athletic looks. The worst serial offender is Angelina Jolie, whose action-move-heroine roles frequently cross over into the ridiculous. It doesn’t help that Jolie’s body is too damned perfect, with her economy-sized lips and breasts. Remember the wet suit in Lara Croft : Tomb Raider that somehow manages not to flatten out, but to accentuate those awe-inspiring mammaries? I guess Croft is so tough that she doesn’t mind the added drag while swimming.

Sexual fantasies aside, it’s all about creating a good story with interesting characters, not about following some formula, whether feminist or traditionalist. Warrior girls need more than their good looks and killer moves to make them interesting. They need to be people we actually care about.

Complicating the Obvious: An Engineer Responds

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mad_scientist

The mad scientist persona on my Facebook author page (shown above) is somewhat appropriate because, besides being a full-time radical malcontent, my “day job” is an an engineer. A recent article by Thomas Sowell  prompted me to respond from an engineer’s perspective.

I’m a great admirer of Mr. Sowell; he’s a brilliant thinker and a great writer. To be a black conservative in this country takes a special kind of courage, and he was on the right before it was fashionable. His recent article, which appeared on January 5th on numerous websites, about the deficiencies in modern product engineering.

In general, I agree with his comments. Many if not most electronic products are over-complicated. In my defense, it’s not just a software problem. Even the labels on an over-the-counter medicine bottles are too complex. The critical information on dosage and frequency is lost in a thousand words of fine-print warnings and disclosures. Why should I have to dig out my reading glasses to find out how long I can go between doses? A similar issue applies to appliance manuals. They’re printed in three to ten languages with at least a dozen pages of warnings that no one but an imbecile should need. I’m not sure it’s due to government or to multi-cultural correctness, but this so-called “internationalization” is the impetus behind the babel of languages and the widespread use of non-textual hieroglyphic’s that Sowell detests so much.

Safety regulations make for some especially idiotic designs. You can’t buy a simple gasoline container any more, there are locks on the caps and baffles in the spout. Environmental rules can be even worse. A few months ago, when Arlys and I bought a new washing machine, we discovered that government “water conservation” regulations had rendered it almost unusable. You’re no longer allowed to choose your own water level. The machine figures that out, adding time to the cycle, and if it screws up, your clothes don’t get clean. We returned the new machine and had our old one repaired.

Though government is, as usual, our biggest nemesis, it’s not our only one. One of my mantras as a software engineer has been that a properly designed interface should be so intuitive that it shouldn’t require one. Sadly, that seldom happens. Creating a good interface costs money, something the folks in accounting don’t always appreciate. Being tangible, the hardware usually gets more attention. Yet it’s a mistake to neglect the software to save a few bucks. Ease of use can make or break a product.

Another temptation for manufacturers is to save design effort by relying on the Internet. Even if the product’s interface is too difficult for the average person to figure out, some 15-year old genius will do it, and publish how-to instructions on You-tube for free. Though streaming video is a powerful tool, I really don’t want to watch a 20-minute video by some pimply faced kid so I can work my toaster. We should save that option for more complicated products, like the cell phones Sowell complains about.

Though corporate stinginess is a problem, it’s also possible to make a bad interface by going overboard on the design. One company that puts a lot of resources into the interface design is Apple, which explains the popularity of its products. At the very least, they’re pretty, but that doesn’t guarantee ease of use. The philosophy of simplicity for its own sake can sacrifice usability. (Why a one-button mouse?) For the product to look slim and elegant in the ad is everything. In particular, the ability to repair, maintain or upgrade Apple devices (consider the I-Phone’s non-removable battery) goes out the window.

By the way, I share Sowell’s frustration with needlessly complex cell phone interfaces. Perhaps if the author gig doesn’t work out I’ll create my own Android distribution, and it will actually make sense. Any suggestions?

 

My Arcane and Esoteric Predictions for 2016

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Hourglass

Everyone likes to start the new year with a bunch of optimistic forecasts but this is not that year. I have three:

  1. Donald Trump will not be President. At the rate he’s going, he could legitimately be elected, but the powers that be won’t tolerate a loose cannon like him in the White House. Not that presidents have all that much authority, anyway, but the elites need to maintain at least the facade of democracy.
  2. There will be no economic recovery. Nothing has changed since 2007. The bad actors weren’t punished, and the big banks weren’t allowed to fail. The economy needs a reset; we need to repudiate government debt, ax laws and regulations, and close our expensive and unnecessary overseas military bases. Until that happens, things won’t get better.
  3. We can expect civil unrest to expand beyond the inner cities. The American “Deep State” is a big believer in “divide and conquer” which is why they’ve pursued chaos in Ukraine and Syria. Lately I’ve suspected they want to try it here. If they can get the majority to riot, they’ve got an excuse for repression, and maybe even for repudiating some of the aforementioned debt. Consider the offenses to Christians, conservatives and Southerners: gay marriage by judicial fiat, making transsexuals a protected class, denigrating the rebel flag and destroying Confederate monuments. I’m not saying I share their outrage but I’m baffled that we haven’t seen more push-back. The clincher would be (a) forcing us to accept massive numbers of Muslim refugees, and expecting us to accommodate their prejudices, as Germany and Sweden have done, or (b) gun confiscation. This is especially likely if Hillary is elected President. The elite can make her play the bad guy, then follow up with impeachment and prosecution for her criminal past. Of course, whatever outrages she imposes upon us will stand even after she is gone. Read Machiavelli, it’s in “The Prince.”

There you have it. I hope I’m wrong. If I’m right, you all owe me a beer – if our new Muslim overlords will allow it.

Review — “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”

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Yesterday Arlys and I finally saw the most anticipated movie of 2015, the seventh and latest installment of Star Wars. I’m sure many of you have already seen it, but as a sci-fi writer and a long time Star Wars fan, I’m obliged to review it. Spoiler warning: It’s not going to be pretty.

I’ve heard a number of people rave about this film so I was prepared to be amazed. Instead I was quite disappointed. Maybe my problem was too much hype and anticipation. No, it’s not as bad as Episodes I and II (that is, the fourth and fifth releases.) But honestly, I think “Revenge of the Sith” was better. The visual effects and the acting were fine. But the writers (JJ Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan) have apparently gone to the Dark Side – is it too much to ask for a single new plot element?

OK, I admit that strictly speaking, there are no new stories, ever. The first Star Wars movie (Episode IV) is a prime example of the “Hero’s Journey,” as defined by the great Joseph Campbell. Even if we accept originality as a relative quantity, “The Force Awakens” would score in the negative numbers. Practically everything in it is recycled: a plucky young hero(ine), a droid with an urgent message, a tiny but wise and ancient alien, a family split between the Light and Dark Sides, the death of a beloved character, and a very familiar looking doomsday weapon. And get this: the new threat to the Galaxy is a gang of Imperial throwbacks led by a guy who raves like Adolf Hitler. It’s all too familiar. The old Imperial officers did look a lot like Nazis, didn’t they?

There’s only one aspect of Episode VII that’s new to the Star Wars franchise: the character of Finn (John Boyega), a deserter from the aforementioned fascistic First Order. Sadly, the writers botched that opportunity. For someone raised from birth to be a storm trooper, Finn has a depressingly normal personality. Perhaps we can accept that such a person might develop a conscience when ordered to massacre of innocent villagers. But where did he learn to speak in wisecracks and and be protective of females? He’s never known anything but soldiering, so we’d expect him to be super-confident, fearless, humorless, and naive about human relationships. Above all, he shouldn’t have tried to run from the conflict; a man like him would need to fight for a cause, even if it meant switching sides. Instead, Finn is a reluctant hero, and yet when the fighting starts, he’s incredibly cavalier about killing his former comrades. Where’s the internal conflict? And why aren’t his new friends more suspicious of him? Double agents posing as defectors are a time-tested strategy of war.

Rey’s character (Daisy Ridley) is another unfortunate waste of potential. We’re long past the time when attractive female warriors were novel and edgey. Now they need depth, nuance and back-story, none of which Rey has. Not that she’d have had time tor character growth at the frenetic pace of this movie. Her personal “force awakening” reminded me of a childhood dream where I suddenly, without warning or context, realized I had super-powers. Yes, science fiction requires the willing suspension of disbelief, but that’s a two way street. The writers have to give us something worth believing in.

I could rant on further about the movie’s Death-Star-sized plot holes, but I’ve gone on long enough. Despite all these problems, I did enjoy it. It’s visually stunning, with a background that’s full of delightful little details of both the biological and mechanical variety. The Star Wars characters we know and love are back, even if their interaction is a bit stilted at times. Finally, it leaves us with this mystery: how did Han and Leia’s son end up looking like Severus Snape?

Out of a possible five stars, I’d give it a 2.5. George, please come back!

 

Barack Obama: Cat’s Paw of the CIA?

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A few days ago I encountered a fascinating article by the investigative journalist Seymour Hersh, a man whose writings I give a lot of credence. Entitled “Military to Military”,  the piece alleges that the Pentagon and the CIA have been at odds about the crisis in Syria. Hersh reports that the US Military, acting contrary to the policies of the Obama administration, shared information with the government of Bashar Assad in Syria, to help it fight the so-called Islamic State (ISIS.) The brass, alarmed about the growing influence of ISIS, decided that Assad’s regime was preferable to a Syria run by lunatic Islamic fundamentalists. General Michael Flynn openly objected to Obama’s strategy of arming terrorists and was fired; after that, General Martin Dempsey acted secretly to help Assad. According to Hersh, this secret rebellion ended with Dempsey’s retirement from the Joint Chiefs of Staff this September.

This story is a bombshell in itself, but it caused me to make a connection to numerous articles in the alternative media I’ve read about Obama’s mother, Ann Dunham, having worked for the CIA. This is cited as one of the reasons for Barack’s sudden rise from obscurity to President. The Wikipedia article about Dunham says nothing about this (if Wikipedia were objective, they would have at least noted the allegations,) but it notes a long sequence of non-profit and quasi-government jobs in Kenya, Indonesia, and Pakistan. This perfectly fits the pattern of CIA cover employment. So if the mother was a CIA asset, why not the son?

I see the Hersh article as another piece of evidence of the battle between different factions in the American Deep State. On one side is the Pentagon, on the other the intelligence services. My view is that as bureaucratic, inefficient and corrupt as our military is, it is still, at its heart, a pro-American institution. We can’t say the same for the CIA, whose predecessor the OSS was instrumental in bringing Nazi scientists to America, and was almost certainly involved in anti-democratic debacles such as the JFK assassination, the 9/11 attacks and the false-flag terrorism of “Operation Gladio” in post-war Europe.

I do occasionally agree with Obama’s foreign policy initiatives; his support of the nuclear deal with Iran and normalization of relations with Cuba are two of them. It seems to me, however, that both of these have the same motivation as the coup in Ukraine and Islamic terrorism in Syria – an attempt to marginalize and otherwise punish the un-cooperative leaders of the Russian Federation. To risk nuclear war by way of Machiavellian maneuverings is exactly the kind of treason the CIA is known for. As we near the end of the immensely unpopular Obama administration, it’s well worth thinking about.

Illustration from www.freeimages.com